So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
