Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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