i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
God, I missed his penis.
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