Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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