You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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