I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize