the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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