Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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