And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
