the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
They took my balls.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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