...so i touched it.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
In America we eat man semen.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Pants are for mortals
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
