I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
