Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize