Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
