Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
