Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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