I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
