if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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