just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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