Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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