What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
