Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Found your dick twin last night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize