I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
