he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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