Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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