things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I need water and some morals
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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