i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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