Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Two words: blizzard sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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