Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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