Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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