Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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