I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
