She is in my trunk
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
