would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
