you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize