when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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