I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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