Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
