This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
