We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
