okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
