You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
