she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
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If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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