if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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