nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
