The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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