ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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