Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
