Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
