The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
