How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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