i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
