I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
