So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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