Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
