I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
