nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
