So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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