i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
