Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
