was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
