Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize