I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
