I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
