lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
